The Arclight (Pasadena) has fallen to the Rude Army!

 

Here at the Dork Review we try and keep the tone positive. A celebration of all things dorky!

But yesterday was a very sad day for the Dork. On that day the Arclight (in Pasadena, CA) fell to the enemy! Cinco de Mayo will be forever marred by it's passing. 

So you are asking, "what happened?"

Let me explain. The Dork (me) loved going to the movies, but then something happened - 

The Rude Army was born!

First it started off with children being in movies they clearly shouldn't be in - you know X-Men 2 is the perfect movie for a 4 years old. 

Then it evolved to people feeling everyone around them should be entitled to their "insightful" running commentaries. 

And finally the cell phone - that bright flashlight in a dark room that brings joy to all movie goers! All I can figure is every time I go to the theater I must be sharing it with the most important people of the world! Otherwise why would people need to answer/text/check their phones. I mean what could be so important that it can't wait the 2 hours - is your baby due any minute, are you waiting for a call from the President, or are you just totally self absorbed jerk! Anyway...

...these transgressions got so bad over the years the Dork (me) finally had had enough and simply stopped going to the movies. Then something truly magical happened! 

The Arclight was built!

And it was a bastion of awesomeness! No more waiting in lines! It was expensive - yes, but it drove away the Rude Army. No babies! No talking! No Cell Phones! It was a slice of heaven! 

But yesterday all of that came to an end. The Dork (me) went to go see Iron Man III - at the Arclight of course. 

It started out slowly at first - a little bit of chit chat a few seats away. Not bad, somewhat forgivable, then a child cried. 

What is a child doing in Iron Man III? 

And kept crying - luckily that only lasted through half the movie before the parent (of the year) finally took the terrified child from the theater. But then it happened...

...the women next to me checked her phone not once but multiple times and the guy next to her check his phone and like a virus it spread. Little bright twinkles of lights appearing like stars in the night. 

And I wept! Not tears of joy for the awesomeness of Iron Man III, but tears of sadness. 

The Rude Army had conquered the Arclight.

The haven where I had parked my ass for the last few years in blissful happiness was gone! 

The Rude Army - the Idiot Brigade - you know your average American was upon me! 

Perhaps it was a fluke and from the deepest parts of my soul I hope that is true.But if it isn't let me just say to all you...

...talkers, child bringers, and cellphone users - FUCK YOU!

And if the above didn't fully express how I feel the below clip should!